Hey friend, hey!
Oh my its sooooooooo good to be back. Its been a minute since I’ve posted. This post has been long overdue. Why, do you ask? Honestly, I have no real good excuse. I mean, I could tell you I’ve been REALLY busy doing life and just no time to write…but that’s only a half truth. I could tell you that I’ve been working on another project and just haven’t had time to plan…but that’s only a half truth too. If I were speaking to Teen Thing, I would tell him, “you know excuses are like butt holes, everybody’s got one.” LOL! And I’m right. There’s no place for excuse here.
Don’t get me wrong. I can be kind to myself while fussing at myself. I’m well aware that I’m human and I’m far from perfect. But I don’t have to wallow in my self pity party. Friend, let me tell you. I’ve been throwing one every other week for some time now. All the A List haters were there. Procrastination, self doubt, decision fatigue and imposter syndrome just to name a few. The last few weeks those dream snatchers have been throwing an after party. Staying up really late with all the pomp and circumstance of self sabotage. Last night was THE last party. I made a decision to take a step forward.
I realized a few things during the down time of this pandemic. Procrastination, Self-Doubt, Decision Fatigue, Imposter Syndrome and Self Sabotage has to go! They are not welcome here anymore. As big as my family is, I often have a lot going on at one time. In this season of my life, I am raising children, molding them to be good humans, supporting coach hubby and Teen Thing at football games, work, school and the list could go on longer. But guess what its JUST one season in my life. And…it won’t be busy always.
The reality of this woke me up in the middle of the night from a dream. In my dream, I was dreaming
of being busy. And Yes, it was a dream, not real life, lol! I was ripping and running with the kids as I often do. But in my dream, I was talking to me as if I were 2 characters in the dream. All while watching me. Like an outer body IMAX experience starring yours truly.
At some point in this IMAX experience, I got really serious with myself about making these excuses in regards to why I couldn’t get anything done for my self. I said to myself, “Yes, you’re married to a coach who is often MIA. Yes you have a bunch of kids and often don’t have time to yourself. But that can and will change. When the kids are gone and you still haven’t taken the 2nd step towards your dream, what will the excuse be then?” In my dream, I looked at myself, dropped my head and shrugged my shoulders. Immediately, I woke up out of that dream and started writing. As much as I would love to say that I wrote this blog post just for you, truth is I didn’t. I wrote this blog post for me too. I wrote this to remind myself of all the things I need to do to be the best version of me.
I started this blog to share my truths with you, friend. Self doubt, procrastination, pity parties, imperfections and imposter syndrome filled my space, my mind and on this particular morning God reminded me He is always there. He will never leave me nor forsake me. The version of me reminding me that I will soon be out of excuses is how I imagine God is with us. Loving us enough to nudge us to get up and get’er done. We don’t have to have all of the answers, or solutions. Reminding us no matter what we’re doing, it doesn’t have to be perfect. But… you do have to start. And keep making strides towards your dreams, goals and aspirations to see them through to completion. I’m not saying it will be easy and I’m not saying it won’t make you really nervous sometimes. I am saying even if you don’t have all of the answers, DO IT! I’m saying even if you are a little nervous or a little afraid, DO IT! If you didn’t hear me the first two times, listen closely. I’m saying, “DO IT SCARED!”
As I woke from my dream, I heard, “DO IT SCARED, DO IT IMPERFECT! You will be busy sometimes but it won’t last always. You will not be so put together at first but it won’t be that way always. You have been affirming yourself for months. But are YOU listening to yourself? What are you waiting for? DO IT SCARED!”
As I type this, I’m still talking to me. I’m still speaking to myself about what I need to do. I’m still reminding myself of Whose I am. The difference now is that I refuse to let it paralyze me. I refuse to sit back and watch fearful of all the things that have only ever happened to me in my mind. One thing I’ve most certainly learned in this last year is that life is too precious to waste it worrying over stuff that has never happened. I can still be productively scared without letting it paralyze me. I’m typing this post scared. But there is freedom in posting this. Standing at a crossroad in life can have you so afraid that you don’t move. You can be seeking the counsel of friends, therapist and God, only to find out everyone is saying the same thing, YOU’VE GOT THIS! DO IT SCARED!
Hey friend, we’ve got this. Let’s DO IT SCARED! Peace and blessings.
With love,
